sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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