so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
