yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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