So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
