i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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