I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
