Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
