it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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