i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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