I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
