I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
