I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
