isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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