So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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