Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
In America we eat man semen.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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