She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
