At least make sure they are 18
Why
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
