Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
