Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
