Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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