We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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