i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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