nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
