The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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