I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
