she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
