i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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