saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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