I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he shaved USA in his pubs
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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