kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
high people should be assigned attendants
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I would fuck him just for his dog
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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