what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
