whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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