Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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