I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
