She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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