i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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