Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
