she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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