time to smoke my breakfast
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
