If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
