actually, I'm a sock model
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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