fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
God, I missed his penis.
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