Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
