i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
