Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
