so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
