Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
