we have officially lost it.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drunk is a universal language darling
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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