He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
