Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
