I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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